The Soundtrack To Your Weekend

Hello, hello you lovely lot. WELCOME TO THE WEEKEND. It's been a long, long week, hasn't it?

You know the deal by now- so lets not waste time faffing around and get stuck straight into what we all came for- some absolute weekend tunes. This week, we're all about some proper classics. Thank god we're not talking about Mozart; this isn't a tea party. No, no, no. We're talking classic R & B, hip hop, and rap tracks. From N-Sync to Kanye West- Tis list isn't Jay-Z, it's CRAYYYYY-z.

Eurgh, can't believe we just said that. Ah well. Onwards.

Jay-Z- 99 Problems If you ever find yourself doing that awkward thing where you imagine you've got a song playing to your life, like some kind of awful music video, then this track would probably be you walking down a street holding your crotch and leaning back. If that's true, a bitch might not be one of your 99 problems, but your thought process may well be. But that's cool, we're in the same boat as you. Dr.Dre- Still D.R.E feat Snoop Dogg Yes Mr Dre, you are still very much DRE. And well done to Mr Doggy Dogg (Or is it Mr lion? and who cares?), for helping him confirm that he is infact, still DRE. Wow. This song should be terrible but it's just not. Beastie Boys-No Sleep 'Til Brooklyn YES. Thankyou Beastie Boys. If you're not listening to this and feeling so pumped up that you can't stop shaking, then play it again. LOUDER. N.E.R.D-She Wants To Move This is all well and good having a good time, but, so we're never accused of not providing an education edge to these delightful playlists of ours, here's a slice of knowledge for you: PHARREL WILLIAMS IS 40. The End. Justin Timberlake- Senorita Someone once said to me: 'I don't get the fuss about JT. He's not done that many good songs.' The reply was: 'OOOOOKAY. Bye.' SACRILEDGE. House of Pain-Jump Around Does this remind you of Mrs Doubtfire too? Amazing film that. Anyway. What a track. If you're off out tonight, you'll be glad of hearing this. If not, you probably wanna go out now...right? Usher-Pop Ya Collar Remember when Usher was basically running the world? We miss the guy. Just don't walk round tonight popping your collar. It's not cool anymore. R Kelly-Ignition (Remix) Who doesn't want to see R Kelly in a great big white fur coat? And then some random basketball/hat concoction? Answer us that. Forget how cringeworthy this video is and accept the fact that it's just a mask for a pretty catchy song. "We've got food everywhere as if the party was catered"... at least Mr Kelly is spending his money on more than just fur coats. Nice guy. If you're ever really hungry, try and get to one of his parties. Blazin' Squad-Flip Reverse HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA No seriously. This genuinely happened. We love the awkward gansgter hands in this video. Give us a second to stop crying from laughing so hard. Bloody Hell. Ne-yo-Miss Independent A few things to learn from this video: One: Ne-Yo has fantasies about working in an office. Two: In this fantasy, every girl in the office wants Ne-yo. Three: Every girl in the office must say 'good morning' to Ne-yo. Four: Who cares? It's a good song. T-Pain-I'm Sprung T-Pain's Sprung. Akon known, and he ain't too happy. The man's doing the dishes for some kisses for lords sake! Poor lad. Kanye West-We Don't Care Right, before people kick off that this isn't Gold Digger, or Touch The Sky or something else- put yourself in our position! This is a tough job you know. Outkast-Ms. Jackson SORRY MISS JACKSON... OOOOOO. Enough. Damage-Ghetto Romance Wow. This is getting mad now. Feel like we're stuck in a cringeworthy R & B room. That's a good thing. TUUUNE! P.Diddy-Bad Boys For Life P.Diddy's moved in next door, and he's sat on the roof rapping. Safe to say the neighbours aren't happy. Why can't they make music like this anymore?! Craig David-Fill Me in Before Craig David got ripped to pieces by Avid Merion, he was pretty damn awesome. I mean, JUST LOOK AT THAT BEANIE. What. A. Guy. N-Sync-Girlfriend JT's back. But this time he's bought some friends! Eminem-Purple Hills feat D12 This video's mental. This song's mental. This is all just absolutely mental. AHHHH. Black Eyed Peas-Where Is The Love Ok, everyone. Gather round. It's time to take it down a notch. This is the last song in this weekend's playlist, so let's all take a moment to appreciate this song and show the love... nahhhhh just joking. But seriously. Where is the love? We need some.

Well, that's it you bunch of crazy cats. Whether this has put you in the mood to $wag about your local town centre tonight, or simply stay in because your $wag is too OFF THE CHAIN FOR PEOPLE TO HANDLE, we hope you all have a top, top weekend, and never have to say swag, ever, ever again. Stay Safe.

Ryan J Gray